Life's Lessons

During the week after my grandfathers death I learned many things about loss--

Bringing people food is good. Food is always good. But food is especially good at a time when one can barely process the loss of their loved one. Usually the thought of where the next meal is coming from is far from the mind.

If you can’t cook or bake don't let that stop you. Purchase food and bring it.

Hugs are great! Not only are hugs great, they are expected. Hugging isn’t normal for some people (ahem, me) however, during a time of loss hugs are a given. Hugs are reassurances that people care. When you feel so shaken up and confused, hugs are comforting. 

Because emotions are running so high hugging often results in tears. Hug anyway. 

Being there is what makes all the difference. Walking through a time of loss with someone might be the most uncomfortable thing you do. It may be awkward to walk in on a crying family. It may be awkward not having the “right” words to say. It may be awkward washing someone else’s dishes, doing someone else's laundry or doing someone else’s grocery shopping. 

So you have to rearrange your schedule, maybe travel a great distance. Show up.

If you can’t be there…

Sympathy cards are amazing. I used to think sympathy cards were quite meaningless. Now, after having been through a loss I see the beauty in sympathy cards. Not only do you know that all the people bringing food and the hugging people care, you know that people who are not physically there with you care too. You know people are thinking of you and holding you up in prayer.

Cards can be expensive and perhaps not your thing. Send cards anyway.

Grieving is healthy. It’s ok to cry for hours straight. It’s ok to be on the verge of tears anytime someone talks about the lost loved one. It’s ok that a picture brings back a flood of memories. It’s ok that a few kind words send you back into a state of shock.

Show emotion when going through loss and in the weeks, months, and years that follow. Grieve.

I’m sorry that I left you, I know you feel alone

But God told me that He needed me, He called me to come home

In what seemed to be an instant, in the twinkling of an eye

An angel gently took my hand and led me toward the sky

I fought the fight, I finished the race

Throughout the trial, I kept my faith

No longer do I suffer, my body’s been made whole

I’m flying with the angels, and Heaven’s now my home

God told me not to worry, He said you’d be okay

Because eternity’s forever, and we’ll meet again some day

~Heaven's Now My Home by Libby L. Allen