This past Wednesday I returned to the States. I flew out of Haiti with a couple good friends. I was so excited to be returning to the glorious land of opportunity. A land with fast food, smooth roads, and stores with cheap products. Before we even made it out of Haiti we had some sugary coffee drinks in the Port-au-Prince airport. It was a small reminder of where we would be in a couple of hours.
When the plane landed in Miami we walked into the cold, fancy airport. Everything was so clean and shiny. There were escalators and people movers. The bathrooms were automatic. After living in Haiti, that is a luxury. I couldn't believe all the restaurants and stores located in the airport! Just in case you didn't get a chance to eat before you came or you got hungry during a long layover, everything you desired was at your fingertips. The first store that I saw made me sick. The things that they were selling catered to ones wants, not needs. I thought, who would even buy that stuff? It's just stuff. The materialism of America was so evident once again.
On the plane ride from Miami to Chicago I was awfully uncomfortable. I didn't want to leave Haiti- yet here I was...well on my way back home?! Something changed in me- I was no longer excited to be in the glorious land of opportunity. I had a panic attack. I was so fidgety. I didn't enjoy being state-side and I wasn't even off the airplane yet. I didn't want all these luxuries. I didn't want fast food. I wanted to see my family but I didn't want everything else that came with that.
I asked God to give me strength to get through the next four days in which I would be "home." I cried out to God. I didn't like the feeling of being uncomfortable in this pleasant environment. My home country didn't feel like home anymore. I prayed and prayed. By the end of the 2.5 hour flight God gave me a peace that passed understanding. I found solace in my Father's arms- the only place of true comfort.
Leaving the plane, I searched for the gate where I was to wait for my next flight. Outside, the sky was grey and dreary. Though I was in Chicago, I may as well have been in Michigan. This was the weather that I so easily said good-bye to five and half months ago. I didn't miss it. I found my gate and noticed that I was surrounded by older dutch folks. Before I turned on my iPod I overheard a conversation the two women next to me were having...they were talking about Calvin College. Hmmmm! I was defiantly at the right gate; these were my people. Had I started playing Dutch-bingo I'm sure I could have found a distant relative, or a close connection with one of them.
Thankfully there was still a little bit of daylight as we approached the ground in Michigan. I stared out the window in awe! There were enormous green fields, rows and rows of bright yellow school buses, high school tracks, golf courses, and large houses and barns in this glorious land. It was all "new" to me! And it was stunning. After about a 25 minute flight I was almost home! My parents and grandparents were waiting for me at the gate when I arrived.
I was very hungry by that time of night (after not having eaten all day) and I suggested, more like demanded, we stop at McDonald's en route to our house. Because I didn't have access to fast food in Haiti, a part of me really wanted some again. The double cheese burger and grilled chicken snack wrap tasted pretty good. But not as good as I remembered. This food that I had been longing for just wasn't satisfying. I thought about it over the next couple days and came to the conclusion that McDonalds food would taste much better in Haiti. I really craved it in Haiti...it would be such a treat there. Yet, something about being served McDonald's in America, along with the 68 million other people being served daily, didn't make it all that special.
When I arrived home I was astounded by the glittering black granite countertop in our kitchen. And the lack of dust and ants in our home! My room was plush, with shaggy carpet, a couch, and many many soft blankets. Not unexpectedly, the first night I didn't sleep well because I was so restless in this new place.
(to be continued :)
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